Focus Break

Focus Break

Hello Friends. Rather than beat round the bush,  I’m just going to be blunt. I am at a point in which my focus has gotten a little off track. Lately, I haven’t put in the time and effort this place deserves. I absolutely believe in the purpose of Why I’m Like This SO MUCH - and I don’t want to sell it short or, most importantly, sell you short. In light of this – I’ve decided to take a short hiatus. A focus break, if you will. I will be spending this time honing some skills that need sharpening, making some much needed backend updates to the site, writing more content and mainly creating a roadmap for this project moving forward. I’m learning this process as I go and truly appreciate the kind words, support and absolute patience you have all shown me over the last three months. I know the updates, the re-organization ... Read More »

Cautious Optimism

Cautious Optimism

I’ve been enjoying my church community over the last couple of months. Like, a lot. Sequentially, this all started when I decided to get plugged in and make more effort. Go figure. Growing up in West Texas, church culture was very different than the culture I’m experiencing now.  I remember how reverent the church building seemed to be, as a kid; large and plush with the orange carpet and upholstered pews the building committee fought endlessly over. (Insert: #SouthernBaptists) I must start by saying that I’m grateful for my heritage. While I choose to be a part of a faith community that looks a bit different now, my religious heritage provided me a grounded basis on which to believe. On the other side of that coin, there are difficult things from my religious heritage I have had to unpack, examine and walk away from entirely. Today, I seem caught up inside ... Read More »

Part Two: Black and White and Grey All Over

Part Two: Black and White and Grey All Over

Grey is a tricky color. There are more shades of grey than stars in the sky. Some are light and inviting, and others dark and dangerous. If God and I were to darken the door of marriage counseling I’m pretty sure we’d walk out of our therapist’s office with specific instructions to work on our communication issues. By high school, being raised in the church and told to blindly believe in something so abstract wasn’t working. I knew I had experienced the presence of God before. I absolutely believed God existed. This was never a question for me. But I did have other questions, and some of them, even now (20 years later) have yet to be answered. I remember sitting in my youth pastor’s office one day when I was about 16 years old.  I can’t remember how the conversation started, or why I was even at the church ... Read More »

Part One: Cascades Calling

Part One: Cascades Calling

Yesterday we woke up and decided to get out of the city. We previously discussed the possibility of driving the North Cascades Highway soon.  When we woke, it was in the air. We were being called by the wilderness. We popped the freedom top off the Jeep and headed out into the great unknown. Where are we going? What will we see? Where would we end up? As we drove through the forest with no roof over our head, I felt a new appreciation for the art around us. It’s in the trees, the rushing waters, the wind in my hair. I saw it across the river on a steep bank full of large rocks frosted in green moss. The towering pines lining the highway were like an Alice-In-Wonderland-esque tunnel, falling and tumbling into all things fresh, and clean, and wild and wondrous. The sights were amazing. The views were unbelievable.  But its ... Read More »

The Luckiest

The Luckiest

I’ve just returned from my first trip to Las Vegas. I never really had the desire to go to Vegas before, mostly because I don’t gamble, and the unknown is scary for me. Their slogan, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” is terrifying. I mean, what could happen there? Why does no one want to talk about it? Despite the scary unknown, I prepared myself to open my mind, let loose a little and say “Yes” more. “Yes,” even though I was nervous. “Yes,” I’ll have that hot stone massage despite the ridiculous price tag. “Yes,” I’ll try blackjack and not get mad when I lose the $40 I started with (turns out I left the table with $220). What? You rented out the SUV that was prepaid because I wasn’t here to pick it up on time? “Yes,” I’ll take the Camaro instead. My Vegas experience was a ... Read More »

Fighting the Faux-Hawk Battle

Fighting the Faux-Hawk Battle

I have always been a little insecure about my hair. When I was young in elementary school, it was long and tangled and most times pulled back in a pony tail. I was such a tomboy I didn’t have a clue what to do with it. In fact, I didn’t even care to try to learn. I had games to win, hills to climb, races to run. I went through a perm phase (or several). The thinking behind this was if my hair was curly, all I’d really have to do is throw some mousse in it, blow dry it and BAM  – done! I have also tried cutting it short. I usually enjoyed the shorter hair – it was much less maintenance, and definitely less time to dry. But I always felt insecure about it. Like I was being judged for my short hair. I think this was my ... Read More »

Pausing to Enjoy the Sun

Pausing to Enjoy the Sun

I usually try to get up early each morning and get some writing done. I must confess, when this happens, I usually end up working on other tasks instead. Writing is something I have to fight myself for every day. It’s the thing that makes me feel most alive and useful, yet it’s always a fight. This week, I’ve simply lost. I haven’t gotten up early this week to write. I haven’t worked on many background projects. I’ve simply slept a couple extra hours each morning. My plan initially was to rise early this morning and head to the coffee shop where I always go on Saturdays and catch up on my writing. But instead, I woke to a bright shiny object hanging up in the bluest sky I’ve seen in quite some time. Every time I fought my thoughts and told myself I should be doing work, I have ... Read More »

Backseat Broken Heart

Backseat Broken Heart

Despite knowing that I had been in love with women, I didn’t come to the conclusion I was gay for quite some time. It never felt like there was an option to be. Being gay was something horrible in which only bad people were. They got ridiculed, bullied, beat up, and sometimes killed over it. I felt, however, despite all the things I’d done wrong in my life, that I was inherently good. I was a good person. I wanted only good things for other people and wanted only good things for myself. My feeble mind wouldn’t yet take me to a place of possibly reconciling my struggles with a realization that I was gay. Because all I knew about being gay was that being gay was bad. Very bad. I can’t remember any specific conversations about the subject, especially in my own house with my own family. In going ... Read More »

Leaning In Towards Your Inner Rockstar

Leaning In Towards Your Inner Rockstar

I’m currently sitting in a beautiful little study on the north end of a bungalow in Poulsbo, WA. I am sharing this house for the weekend with 6 other women on our first Lean In retreat together. If you haven’t heard of Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, you should check it out. It is currently number 8 on the New York Times Bestsellers list and as of right now, it has been on the list for a whopping 58 weeks. As we all arrived, we chatted up a storm in the kitchen. Some cooked dinner and others caught up on the stories of our lives, both personally and professionally. My friend Jana, Founder and Co-Leader of our Lean In Circle (and founder of 6 other Circles in Seattle), just met with the Sheryl Sandberg this week in Seattle’s Facebook office. We got to hear about ... Read More »

Sterling and the Screen Door

Sterling and the Screen Door

I like to consider myself part of the 5am club.  I get up early and start my day with the things that are most important to me, rather than frantically running around trying to get ready and out the door the second my feet hit the floor. I used to do things the frantic way, but I found when I tried to squeeze in the things I value most at the end of the day,  they usually never happened. So I’ve made a conscious effort to put the things I deem most important in my life first – and I leave the extra stuff to be squeezed in later or put off. This is one way to make sure I’m taking care of myself. It is also a way to be intentional about my priorities and ensure I’m on the right track to meet my goals. I have been reading through some of my morning writing from ... Read More »